Here We Go Again..

In starting this blog, I am hoping to sort my thoughts and feelings and find some clarity; or at least, get the fogginess out of my brain for a minute.  I am a 41 year old married mother of two girls and we are planning another big move.  And I am, to say the least, happy, nervous, scared, hopeful, frustrated, and a host of other emotions.  Here we go again..

Almost four years ago, 2014, we decided to pick up and move from eastern PA to central FL, where we currently live.  The reasons were simple enough.  We wanted a better life for our family, our kids.  We wanted a better school system, more freedom, more outdoor time, etc.  We were leaving good jobs, a stable home, all our family, and some dear friends.  It seemed overwhelming, but like a big adventure.  The move was a lot of work but we were able to find work, a new home, and a better school system for our girls.  So why are we now deciding to move back up north?  This is the question I keep asking myself.

In the beginning, life in FL was fun.  We spent many weekends traveling locally to the beaches, parks, local shops, and many other places.  We got season passes to the local aquarium, zoo, and even Disney World.  Filling our days with adventure was the new norm at first.  My Facebook page certainly reflected a life filled with vacations and fun days.

Fast forward to 2017 and I was having an increasingly more difficult time managing.  I had a particularly hard time during the fall, when my old friends from up north and family were apple picking, pumpkin picking, and celebrating the changing seasons, and we were in Florida, still dealing with summer heat.  It wasn't just the lack of seasons bothering me though.  I was feeling something else.  I was missing my family, my old friends, my old life.  I had felt this way at times since moving to Florida and chalked it up to just adjusting to my new life.  This time though, I couldn't get past the sadness I was feeling.  I felt like this may have been the wrong decision, and I was wondering why I was still having such a hard time.  I was having a particularly hard day, when my husband noticed and asked me what was wrong.  I reluctantly told him how I was feeling, not knowing how he would react.  I mean, I was basically telling him I wasn't happy being so far from family and old friends, and we had been working hard for the past three years to set up a new home and life in this new place.  It just seemed like this conversation wouldn't go well.

Well, I have to say that my husband still surprises me at times, though I've known him for 23 years.  He is always supportive, and loves his family more than anything.  After much discussion, the decision to move and be closer to family again was made.  We know this won't be easy.  Packing up a bigger house, with slightly older kids and more stuff, to travel the 1100 miles back up north.  We have begun to prepare the house for sale and discussed our plans with family and close friends for support.  It will take a lot of work.

I hope that chronicling this stage of our life will be helpful to me, as I have a lot of thoughts, anxieties, and mixed emotions in general that need sorting out.

Oh, and to complicate things, I was recently laid off from my job of 3.5 years.  Stay tuned...